My Science Experiment

QUESTION: Is Lauren just a "dumb blonde"?

BACKROUND RESEARCH:

Location 1: Magleby's restaurant
Age: 14
When ordering my meal, the waitress asked the common question, "Would you like a soup or salad with your meal?"
Well, I heard: "Would you like a super salad with your meal?"

Waitress: "Would you like a soup or salad [super salad]?"
Me: "No, just a regular please."
Waitress: "Of the soup or salad [super salad]?"
Me: "Uh, no, I just want the regular one."
Waitress: "A regular soup or salad [super salad]?"
Me: "Does the meal come with a super salad?"
Waitress: "Uh, no. I am not sure what a "super salad" is.
As I stared at the waitress completely dumbstruck, Lindsey cleared the confusion by speaking very slowly as she acted out "sooouuuppp OR ssssaaaallllaaaadddd.....". I just wish she would've had finger puppets, it would have made the charade process go so much faster.

Location 2: Ms. Wynn's geography class
Age: 15
Our class was having a discussion about the guerrilla warfare happening in Guatemala at the time. She was telling us how they were attacking tourist buses and pulling people out of the buses and shooting them. I burst out in great distress, "You mean to tell me Gorilla's are killing people with guns? Where are they getting the guns? And since when are apes so vicious?"

Location 3: AP English class

Age: 18

We had just finished watching "An Inconvenient Truth" and were discussing it. I raised my hand and asked ponderfully, "What is Algore's first name?" The teacher responded, "Um, its Al." I shockingly replied, "His name is Al Algore????"

2 weeks later....

My teacher was talking about how "we", referring to the United States, are as close to Cuba as Highland is to Brigham City. I turned excitedly to my best friend and told her we should plan a road trip there if its that close....how come I never knew this before? When I got home that day and excitedly relayed the news to my older sister Erin, who was kind enough to inform me that "we" had in fact not meant Highland, Ut.

HYPOTHESIS: Yes.

CONCLUSION: Lauren should probably just teach kindergarten or something.