Tis' the Season

It's 2007. My best friends and I are driving to lunch. We get pulled over because my friend is speeding. The cop gets her information and we are freaking out while he is at his car. He comes back and says he is giving us a citation. All three of us thank the cop profusely for only giving us a citation. The cop leaves confused. We leave pleased. We get to lunch elated and inform everyone that my friend was only given a citation. . .

Turns out a citation is a fancy word for a ticket. . .not in fact, a warning.

Anyway, here's some pictures from recently. Happy Holidays!


Getting ready for the Christmas season.

Cute roommates

"Harly Davidson" night out

(I looked more like a pirate than a biker but practically the same thing right?)

Temple Square with the Roomies

My Halloween Mistake

This Halloween was monumental because it was the first Halloween in over 5 years that I haven't dressed up 80's. I was quite excited at first as I was getting dressed up, wondering to myself "This is fun!! Why haven't I switched things up in past years?"

Well, I was reminded as soon as I left my apartment. Immediately everyone started asking me what the heck I was...and then finally some boy asked, "Are you a Hooker?"

Back to 80's it is.

(Oh, by the way, I was a Cave Woman. But maybe I was a Hooker-Cave-Woman without even realizing it...I am not quite sure what they looked like back then.)

A Shout Out

I just wanted to give props to my amazing roommate, Nikki--er, Neeki (I don't really know which one, I mean, I have only been living with her for 2 months). She designed this amazing new blog for me. If a picture of myself in that spandex-deluxe outfit isn't enough to make me get on more and blog, I don't know what will!!!

Picture This...

The facts are these:

1. I am not very good at updating my blog even though I have been having an awesome and very eventful sophomore semester.
2. I am, however, good at taking pictures and I have documented many of these awesome events.

"True-Blue-Flag-Football" (the one and only time I have had any school spirit)

I was the Jenga champion! (keep in mind there were over 20 competitors-this boy was my final competitor.)

I went horse-back riding for the first time ever!

My pranking posse. We go out once a week and pull pranks. They really aren't even worth mentioning because we live in Cougar-Town where it just can't get much more exciting than saran wrap and car markers.

Dates. Lots of dates. Too many dates.

Matt on his first date!

Matt and Me before I drove him to pick up his date :)

My blessed and most wonderful roommates! (Tanisha [T], Tiffani [Mama-T], Nikki [Neeki], Me [L-hoe], Nancy [Fancy Pants]; Missing: Naomi [Chamma])

Life is treating me great!

Confessions of a Zoobie...

Dear Blog,

It's been almost a month since my last entry and I owe you an apology. Life has just been so crazy lately but here's the update on it:
So I moved into my Podunk apartment at Liberty Square in P-town. I have a whole 10x10 sq ft. to call my own that I pay $300 a month for. My roommates are awesome--I seriously could not have picked better girls if I tried. They are all older and have taken it upon themselves to take care of me. This care includes coming home to dinner on the table, taking out my trash, doing my laundry, killing spiders, aiding my pursuit of zoobie hotties, and fully appreciating me in all my provocative ways (this mostly involves them videoing me anytime I turn on music or tell a joke or just breathe for that matter)
I also have a great ward! I was given the inspired calling of a "Name Extractor" this last Sunday. Yeah...its great, they sustained me as well as the other 70 people in my ward who got that calling on Sunday. Proud day for the White family.
Oh my gosh! And the best part of my week was when I was going to class on Monday and I was stopped by an African-American (that means he was black) and told "You fly girl, you fly." I thanked him sincerely and as soon as he was out of sight I pulled out my handy pocket "slang dictionary" (also available online at www.onlineslangdictionary.com) and was pleased to find out that I am:
Fly:
adjective
1. Very good, excellent, COOL.

So life is good as you can see! Write again soon.

XOXO.
Love, Lauren.

Aunthood

Some favorite things about Elena:
1. She always has to be pretend to be an animal and once she is that animal, she does not break character for any reason.
2. She is still learning her tenses so she will say things like, "What did you said?" "Nonnie's got a stars in hers bedroom." "You gots a treat?"
3. She is so dang smart...she already knows all the letters and sounds in the alphabet.

Some favorite things about Jonah:
1. When he smiles he only shows his bottom teeth and it always looks mischievous.
2. He "fires" everyone and everything around him constantly.
3. He loves to share his gross, slobbered, germy food.

Some favorite things about Joseph:
1. He just walks around giggling to himself all day long.
2. He is so very cuddly and has the sweetest disposition you've ever seen.
3. He laughs like a fat lady.

My favorite things about being an aunt:
1. Elena
2. Jonah
3. Joseph
4....TBA

Tough Critics

I think one the most entertaining things to do is to go back and watch shows/movies you used to as a little kid.

First of all, the shows almost always have dirty parts that you never caught onto. "Look Who's Talking" was one of my favorite shows when I was little. The beginning of the video it is basically a sexual education course. Another one my cousins and I liked was "Sleeping With the Enemy"...that name in and of itself is enough of an example right?

Secondly, they always have some actor/actress that you thought was a total babe. A.C. Slater, Jesse, Rebecca, and DJ Tanner, Topanga, Kevin Bacon, and David Bowie are all great examples.

And finally, they are always, always terrible movies. Some good examples ones we loved as kids are: Flight of the Navigator, All Dogs Go to Heaven, The Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal, On Our Own, Watcher in the Woods, Indian in the Cupboard, and the list goes on and on.

If you want a good trip down memory lane, view this video of David Bowie in all his glory!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UoG-xQ9Lqc&feature=related

Oh, to be in Cali.

Of all the trips and adventures I go on, by far, my favorite one is my annual trip to California to see Kiersten, Elena, Jonah, and Babe (oh and he is such a babe). Its a glorious week of waking up at the crack of dawn, having to be the endless entertainment for the children, staying in a confined space for most of the day due to the lack of transportation, and watching gangsters (and an especially dangerous wanksta, [ie: white gangster] Stanley) terrorize the quad. So you might wonder, why is this my favorite vacation? Well, I know it doesn't sound glamorous, but it is simply the best for all of those reasons and more. I can't recall any other time I have that much endless fun and experience endless joy. And now, to make my favorite vacation even better, my sister Erin, brother-in-law Todd, and adorable baby Joseph now live minutes away from Kiersten, so I get to visit them as well! I couldn't be more excited!

A little taste of what I am so excited for...

My Babies....

Babe...

Stanley Wanksta....

My Science Experiment

QUESTION: Is Lauren just a "dumb blonde"?

BACKROUND RESEARCH:

Location 1: Magleby's restaurant
Age: 14
When ordering my meal, the waitress asked the common question, "Would you like a soup or salad with your meal?"
Well, I heard: "Would you like a super salad with your meal?"

Waitress: "Would you like a soup or salad [super salad]?"
Me: "No, just a regular please."
Waitress: "Of the soup or salad [super salad]?"
Me: "Uh, no, I just want the regular one."
Waitress: "A regular soup or salad [super salad]?"
Me: "Does the meal come with a super salad?"
Waitress: "Uh, no. I am not sure what a "super salad" is.
As I stared at the waitress completely dumbstruck, Lindsey cleared the confusion by speaking very slowly as she acted out "sooouuuppp OR ssssaaaallllaaaadddd.....". I just wish she would've had finger puppets, it would have made the charade process go so much faster.

Location 2: Ms. Wynn's geography class
Age: 15
Our class was having a discussion about the guerrilla warfare happening in Guatemala at the time. She was telling us how they were attacking tourist buses and pulling people out of the buses and shooting them. I burst out in great distress, "You mean to tell me Gorilla's are killing people with guns? Where are they getting the guns? And since when are apes so vicious?"

Location 3: AP English class

Age: 18

We had just finished watching "An Inconvenient Truth" and were discussing it. I raised my hand and asked ponderfully, "What is Algore's first name?" The teacher responded, "Um, its Al." I shockingly replied, "His name is Al Algore????"

2 weeks later....

My teacher was talking about how "we", referring to the United States, are as close to Cuba as Highland is to Brigham City. I turned excitedly to my best friend and told her we should plan a road trip there if its that close....how come I never knew this before? When I got home that day and excitedly relayed the news to my older sister Erin, who was kind enough to inform me that "we" had in fact not meant Highland, Ut.

HYPOTHESIS: Yes.

CONCLUSION: Lauren should probably just teach kindergarten or something.

Muy Bien

I recently I returned from a family vacation to Mexico. I personally think it was the best vacation the White family has ever had. We had a private beach for a week, I got endless playtime with my niece and nephews, and we were all together. It was pure bliss. Here are some highlights of the trip....

Even without a spouse, I still managed to have a good time.

Elena discovered that sand is not one of the basic food groups.

Joseph helped a lost man by pointing him towards the water.

For her birthday, Lindsey got two fist fulls of her very own sand.

After 19 years of being told I could never learn, Jonah taught me how to read.

All in all, it made me realize what an amazing family I have and made me love them even more!

Happy Birthday Sister!

When I was a little girl, I was terrified of the white dots that you see when the lights get turned off at night...I thought they were bugs. So my wonderful sister Kiersten willingly let me sleep with her every night for a very long time while I slowly got over my fear of these bugs. I now realize what a sacrifice that was for her, because it is not fun to have a squirming, kicking child in your bed every night for months on end. Since I was just a little girl, we have been the best of friends and she has continued to be my dearest friend and sister. Even with her living in California, we always plan trips for me to come out and visit, because I love to be with her and the beautiful family she has made. One of the things I love most about Kierst is that she has always been so caring and passionate about her family and she is one of the best mothers, sister, and friend I have ever known.

I am so glad you were bornded Kierst, you are cuter than 14 stink bugs. I love you. Happy Birthday.